


Afterglow

by pinkamour1588



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Sex, Apologies, BDSM Scene, Bondage, Comfort, Confusion, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Fear, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Forehead Kisses, Hand Jobs, Handcuffs, Insecurity, Kissing, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Neck Kissing, Overstimulation, Panic, Post-Coital Cuddling, Safe Sane and Consensual, Safeword Use, Safewords, Smut, Spanking, Subspace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 16:33:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13170840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkamour1588/pseuds/pinkamour1588
Summary: Sometimes the afterglow of a scene isn’t quite what either of them expected.





	Afterglow

Jim closed his eyes and tried not to focus on how sore his arms and legs were getting or how he wasn’t sure he could come again. He whined when Leonard’s dick brushed against his prostate.

“You doin’ alright?” Leonard asked.

Jim hesitated for a few moments, then nodded, giving Leonard a small smile. “Doing great.”

Leonard pressed his lips against Jim’s jaw and murmured, “Good boy.” He pulled back after a moment and reached between them, taking Jim’s cock in his hand and stroking it in time with his thrusts. “Come on, Jim. You got one more in you.”

Jim stared up at him and nodded blankly. A few minutes later, he closed his eyes and let out a strangled moan as he strained against the handcuffs around his wrists, coming weakly. In the back of his mind, he recognized the familiar sounds and sensations of Leonard coming inside him. He could feel the weight of Leonard on top of him as the doctor caught his breath.

After a couple minutes, Leonard pulled out and took his first proper look at Jim in the past ten minutes. And began panicking a little. He moved Jim’s legs so they were resting flat on the bed and quickly unbuckled the handcuffs, laying Jim’s arms gently on the bed. He knelt next to Jim and studied his face more closely.

“Jim, you alright? Can you look at me?” he asked.

Jim blinked his eyes open and stared at Leonard with a half glazed over expression.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Leonard forced a smile, trying to remain calm as he took Jim’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it.

Jim blinked slowly up at him, his grip tightening on Leonard’s hand. Then he whimpered and Leonard felt like he had been punched in the gut. He reached down and pulled the sheets and duvet over Jim, then laid down and settled more comfortably next to him. He gently coaxed him into his arms, holding him tightly, pressing kisses to the top of his head, and murmuring ‘I love you’s and ‘I’m so proud of you’s.

After nearly twenty minutes, Jim seemed to try to jerk away from Leonard.

“Do you need some space for a bit?” Leonard asked gently.

“What are you…why are you…” Jim stammered as Leonard let him pull away.

“I want to take care of you. That’s why.”

Jim stared back at him, “You want to take care of me? No one’s ever done that after…”

“I do that. I always do.”

Jim’s eyebrow’s furrowed, then he gave a small nod. “Yeah.”

Leonard wanted to ask more, but knew that it was a discussion for another time. “What do you need? What can I get for you?”

“I’m kind of thirsty,” Jim said softly.

“Water, juice, milk? I think we still have juice. Or tea? I think we still have some tea.”

Jim cracked a small smile. “Water’s fine.”

Leonard nodded as he got up, heading to the kitchenette. He returned a minute later with boxers on and a large glass of water and two pain reliever capsules. Jim slowly sat up, with Leonard’s help.

Leonard handed over the water and the capsules, then said, “I’m just going to get some things. I’ll be right back.” When he returned a minute later, Jim had set the empty glass aside on the bed and laid back down, closing his eyes. Leonard slowly pulled back the covers before beginning to gently clean Jim off with a warm, damp washcloth, stopping suddenly when the blond jumped.

“What are you doing?” Jim asked.

“I’m just getting you cleaned up. You can do it yourself if you want. I just thought you might like if I did it since you’re no doubt sore. And you’ve always liked when I’ve done it in the past,” Leonard answered gently.

Jim sighed and relaxed into the pillow, shaking his head. “Feels nice.”

Leonard let out a small sigh of relief. After a few minutes, he helped a still very out of it Jim turn over onto his stomach before carefully applying some numbing cream mixed with lotion to Jim’s reddened ass. Once again, he froze when the blond let out a small groan. “Am I hurting you?” Leonard asked.

“Just a little sore but it feels great.”

“Ok, tell me if I’m hurting you.” He returned to methodically applying the lotion as gently as he possibly could. When he finished, he helped Jim into the loosest pair of boxers he could find, then pulled the covers back over him. He took the glass back to the kitchen and returned with a water bottle and a protein bar. He set the items within Jim’s reach on his nightstand before sitting on the edge of the bed. “Anything else you need? Blankets, food, anything?” He ran his fingers through Jim’s hair gently as the blond stared back at him tiredly.

Jim shook his head. “Just you.”

Leonard nodded and moved to the other side of the bed, laying down next to Jim under the covers. Jim moved closer, curling up against Leonard with his head on his chest. The doctor wrapped his arms around him and kissed the top of his head. Jim seemed to doze off quickly, clinging to the brunette in his sleep, but Leonard laid wide awake thinking over what had transpired and what Jim had said about no one taking care of him afterwards.

And it terrified Leonard. Before they had done anything in the realm of dominance and submission, they had several long conversations about it. They laid out everything they were each personally ok with doing, what their safe word was, what Jim thought his aftercare would include. They had talked about any and all past experience with things of that nature. They had done everything right but somehow it seemed to have gone wrong.

He looked down at Jim, fast asleep in his arms and his heart ached. What had Leonard done wrong? Was Leonard not paying enough attention to the potential signals? Did Jim use his safe word and Leonard didn’t hear it or process it? Leonard thought he was going to be sick at the possibility of not paying enough attention to hear Jim use his safe word. Did he hurt Jim? Oh, god, Leonard wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he had hurt Jim. He was supposed to keep Jim safe and he failed. And what did Jim mean when he said “No one’s ever done that after”? Leonard always took care of him afterwards, regardless of how much he might want to just curl up and sleep.

“I’m sorry, Jim,” he murmured kissing the top of Jim’s head.

***

The next morning, Leonard carefully freed himself from Jim’s hold to go use the bathroom before getting back into bed and pulling the blond back into his arms. He desperately wanted coffee, but didn’t want to risk Jim waking up alone.

It took nearly another hour before Jim stirred and blinked his eyes open. “Bones?” he mumbled.

“Right here, Jim.”

Jim nodded and sighed as Leonard carded his fingers through his hair.

“Are you hungry?” Leonard asked.

“Yeah.” Jim didn’t move an inch.

“I’ll have to get up.”

Jim frowned, put pulled away, letting the doctor get up.

“What do you want?”

“Usual.”

Leonard gave him a small smile before heading to the kitchen. He returned twenty minutes later with a cup of coffee and a tray with pancakes, syrup, and butter and set the tray in front of Jim and handed him the cup of coffee when he sat up.

“I get to eat in bed?” Jim asked.

“Yeah.” Leonard went back to the kitchen to retrieve his own food and coffee.

They ate in silence, Leonard watching Jim closely. When they finished, and he took the empty dishes back to the kitchen, he took his time figuring out what to say to Jim. They had to talk about what happened. That was just a standard. But this time they had to talk about what had gone wrong and Leonard had to make sure the topic was brought up appropriately. He still wasn’t sure what type of state Jim was in.

He walked back into the bedroom to see Jim settled in bed watching something on his PADD. At the sound of his return, the blond looked up at grinned at Leonard, who forced a smile in return. Leonard sat back on the bed, facing Jim.

“How are you feeling?” Leonard asked.

“A little sore, but that’s normal,” Jim shrugged as he paused the video.

“Do you think you’re ready to talk about last night?”

Jim’s grin faltered and he set his tablet aside. “Yeah, I guess.”

Leonard swallowed the lump in his throat. “What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Something happened that shouldn't’ve. You scared me. Did I hurt you? Did I somehow not realize you had safe worded?”

At the last question, Jim seemed to shrink back a little.

“Oh, god, Jim. I’m sorry. Fuck. I must have been too into it and missed it. I’m so, so sorry. I should’ve been paying better attention. I swear I didn’t mean to ignore it. I would  _never_  intentionally ignore it.”

“I didn’t,” Jim whispered looking down at his hands.

“What?”

“I didn’t safe word. I didn’t tell you to stop.”

Leonard just stared at him speechless for a few moments. “You didn’t…We didn’t do…What?”

Jim looked down at his hands for a long time before speaking. “You liked what was happening.”

“Well, yes, that’s kinda the point of what we were doing. We both like it. I didn’t enjoy it so much when you were so out of it.”

“You liked what was happening but if I told you to stop…” he trailed off.

Leonard’s heart sank and his stomach turned. He reached out and took Jim’s face in his hands, gently turning it so Jim was looking at him. Well, he would’ve been looking at the doctor if he wasn’t keeping his gaze downcast. “Jim, look at me. Please,” Leonard said desperately.

Jim slowly looked up at him nervously, bottom lip trembling.

“Now listen to me. Ok?”

Jim nodded.

“No, I need to hear you say it.”

“Ok,” Jim breathed.

“If you tell me to stop, I stop. Period. And the only reason why I would ask why you told me to stop is for future reference, so I know what not to do in the future. So I know where your limits are.” He took another deep breath before asking, “Jim, have you had someone not listen when you said stop?”

“Oh, god, no. No, no, no,” Jim shook his head frantically.

“Ok, good.” Leonard let out a small sigh of relief, then asked, “Have you had someone get mad at you for saying stop?”

Jim furrowed his eyebrows, thinking, then shook his head. “Not mad. Upset. Annoyed. But never angry.”

Leonard rubbed Jim’s stubbly cheek with one thumb and dropped his other hand to take hold of Jim’s. “Did you think I would be upset or annoyed?”

“I don’t know. I think I might just be used to going through the motions. Doing whatever the other person wants.”

“You know what I want during sex and during a scene?”

“Usually to fuck me.”

“I want you to want me to fuck you. I want you to communicate with me before, during, and after. I want you to tell me if you need us to stop, or pause. I want you to tell me if you’re uncomfortable or in pain. I want us on the same page on what we want and need during sex. Actually, none of those things are things I want. Those are things I  _need_. I don’t want you to not be enjoying yourself.”

Jim nodded.

“And I want to be very clear, never  _ever_  do that again. You tell me when you’ve had enough, when you’ve reached your limits. I never want to push you past your limits.”

“Ok.”

“Can I ask another question?” Leonard asked, taking his hand off Jim’s face.

“Just did, but yeah.”

“You said last night that no one ever took care of you afterwards. What did you mean? You never brought it up and you never got confused by me doing it before.”

“The two others did, but not the way you do. They got me what I needed, sat next to me when I was coming down, and help me get cleaned up. I was taken care of. I think they just had an air about them where it was just something they had to do. You don’t. You don’t act like it’s an obligation.”

“Because it’s not. Well, it is to a point, but it’s also just something I want to do. I want to make sure you feel safe and loved and comfortable. I always want you to feel that way, but I especially do after we do things where you’re my submissive.” Leonard thought for a moment then said, “C’mere,” gestured him closer.

Jim hesitated for a moment before moving close enough for Leonard to pull him into his arms. He took his hand from the doctor’s and wrapped his arms around Leonard, clinging tightly and pressing his face into his neck. After few minutes, Leonard heard a small sniffle and felt tears against his neck.

“Hey, what’s wrong, sugar?” Leonard said softly.

“Promise you won’t leave,” Jim whimpered.

“Why would I leave?” He stroked Jim’s back lightly.

“If I say stop or my safe word, promise you won’t leave.” Jim took a shaky breath, then continued, “Cause I love you and everyone else I’ve loved has left me. So please promise you won’t.”

“I promise I’m staying.” Leonard pressed a kiss to Jim’s head.

Jim tightened his hold on him, moving closer so he could have every inch of his body possible pressed against Leonard’s. The doctor could feel him physically shaking as he tried not to let out a sob.

“Come on, let’s lay down.” Leonard somehow managed to manipulate Jim’s body enough so he could lay down with the blond half on top of him with his head on Leonard’s chest. Leonard ran his fingers through Jim’s hair, his other arm securely around the blond.

“Bones,” Jim whimpered, holding onto Leonard as tightly as he could as if he would slip away otherwise.

“I’m right here, Jim. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you.”

Jim nodded, not really processing what Leonard had said.

~

Half an hour later, Jim was calmed down enough for the conversation to continue. “I should’ve safe worded,” he whispered.

“Probably. When do you think you would’ve?” Leonard answered.

“After the second. I think.” He lifted his head and looked up at Leonard. “How many times did I come?”

“Four.”

“Then definitely after the third. Maybe after the second.” Jim laid his head back down.

“And why would that be? Did I hurt you?”

“No, I was just getting sore. Arms and legs were. And after the third I was really spent. Think I was getting oversensitive.”

“Ok. Anything else? Anything you liked or didn’t like?”

“Being oversensitive.”

“We’ll try to avoid that then.”

***

Three days later, Jim walked up behind Leonard in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around the doctor and kissing his neck. “Can’t the dishes wait? I wanna have sex.”

“I’m not in the mood, Jim.”

Jim frowned and pulled away, walking off.

***

Leonard turning down sex, of any kind, continued for a little over one more week. Jim never pressed him for a reason why, regardless of how curious and frustrated he was getting. Eventually, he did break one night when he laid curled up next to Leonard watching a holofilm.

“Why won’t you have sex with me?” Jim blurted out.

“What?”

“You keep saying no to sex and I guess it’s fine and all that you don’t want to have sex. I was just wondering if there’s a reason why.”

“Because I don’t feel like I can trust you to communicate with me during sex,” Leonard answered plainly.

“I’m not asking you to tie me up or anything. Just blowjobs or handjobs. I’m not even asking you to fuck me.”

“I’m not comfortable having sex again until I feel like you can trust you to communicate with me during sex.”

“What do you mean you can’t trust me?”

“You didn’t tell me when I needed to stop a week and a half ago so I don’t feel like I can trust you and therefore I am too uncomfortable to have sex.” He paused, then looked over at Jim. “Trust is earned, so earn it.” With that, he looked back at the movie leaving Jim staring at him in shock.

“How? How do I get it back?”

“I don’t know.”

Jim sighed, looking over at Leonard longingly.

***

Over the next week, Jim tried everything he could think of to gain Leonard’s trust again. By Friday night, Jim was starting to consider giving up in the back of his mind. In a last-ditch effort, after Leonard had gone to bed, Jim typed up something between an apology and a contract. When he finished, he crawled into bed, snuggling up against his boyfriend contently.

***

The first thing out of Jim’s mouth the next morning besides “good morning” was, “I wrote you something.”

“You wrote me something?” Leonard raised an eyebrow.

Jim nodded, getting his PADD and bringing up the document. He set it in front of Leonard, standing nearby wringing his hands behind his back.

Leonard glanced at Jim curiously before looking down at the PADD.

_Bones,_

_I’m sorry for not communicating during sex. I realize it was stupid, irresponsible, and dangerous to do so. By not communicating I put myself in danger and broke your trust. I should have told you I was getting uncomfortable and needed to stop. I didn’t hold up my end of things. It was irresponsible, and I don’t blame you for losing your trust in me. I do hope that at some point I can manage to gain it back. I promise to tell you in the future if I’m getting uncomfortable during sex. I promise to use my safe words when necessary. I promise to do better and do whatever it takes to gain your trust again._

_Jim_

Leonard looked up from the PADD and stared at Jim for a moment, then asked, “What’s your safe word?”

“Stop or traffic light system. Both are acceptable. Green for yes. Yellow for pause. Red for hard stop,” Jim answered automatically.

“What are my hard limits?”

“Anything that draws blood, ravishment, master-slave, collaring, and extending the dominant-submissive dynamics outside sex,” Jim said without a pause.

Leonard sat back and continued asking questions, quizzing Jim on the terms and limits they had agreed upon, Jim answering immediately, without hesitation every time. After almost ten minutes, he looked Jim over thoughtfully, then said, “Just blowjobs and hand jobs for now.”

Jim breathed out a sigh of relief. Things seemed to be back on track again.

***

A little over one month later, it all didn’t seem quite as on track as Jim had hoped. They had returned to their normal sex life in a reasonable amount of time. With the exception of one thing. Every aspect of their dominant-submissive dynamic had been stashed away in a box in the closet. And Jim was itching for it.

“You know what we haven’t done in a while, Bones?” Jim asked breathlessly between kisses as Leonard pulled his shirt off and went to work undoing Jim’s pants.

“What’s that?” Leonard answered as he pulled Jim down into another kiss.

“You haven’t punished me in a while. Or tied me up,” he said pressing kisses along Leonard’s jaw.

Leonard pushed him back. “No. We’re not doing that yet.”

“I thought I had gained your trust again.”

“To have sex. Not for all the extras.”

“But…”

“Do you want to have sex tonight?”

Jim nodded.

“Then let’s have sex. But I’m not tying you up or spanking you tonight or anytime in the very near future.”

Jim sighed then leaned down and pressed his lips back to Leonard’s.

***

Three months later

“Bones,” Jim whined, bucking his hips against Leonard’s.

“Yeah?” Leonard grunted as he gave a sharp thrust and quick stroke over Jim’s dick.

Jim writhed against the handcuffs around his wrists, attached to the headboard, and came in spurts across his chest and stomach. “Ca–Need–stop,” he gasped.

Leonard’s stopped. “Stop or pause?”

“Stop,” Jim answered nervously.

Leonard let go of Jim’s cock and pulled his own out of Jim’s ass. He quickly stroked his dick until he came with a small groan. Still a little breathless and shaking, he moved Jim’s legs so they were resting fully on the mattress and made quick work of removing the handcuffs. “I’m gonna go get you a warm washcloth and some water. I’ll be right back. You gonna be alright for a minute?”

Jim nodded, then remembered to say, “Yes.”

He brushed Jim’s sweaty hair out of the way and kissed his forehead. As he moved to get off the bed, Jim grabbed his wrist.

“Bones, do we still have orange juice?” Jim asked when Leonard turned to look at him.

“Yeah. You want that?”

Jim’s face brightened and he nodded, “Please.”

“I’ll be right back with it.”

Jim let go of his wrist and Leonard headed to the bathroom, cleaned himself up, then went to the kitchenette. He returned with a warm washcloth, water bottle, and glass of orange juice. Jim slowly sat up and took the glass, drinking it unhurriedly. Leonard gave him a small smile before going to the dresser and getting out two pairs of boxer briefs. After pulling one of the pairs on, he went back over to Jim, who was looking from the empty glass in his hand to Leonard, then back to the empty glass.

“I’d like you to drink some water, and then you can have more juice.” He swapped the glass in Jim’s hand for the water bottle. He took his time getting Jim cleaned up pressing the random kiss to Jim’s bare skin.

Jim was a little reluctant to put the underwear on, but pulled them on with a little help from Leonard. “Now?” he asked when Leonard pulled the covers over him.

“Yes,” Leonard nodded taking the empty juice glass and refilling it in the kitchenette.

As Jim drank his second glass, Leonard finished clearing things up before getting into bed. Jim finished the drink quickly, setting the once again empty glass on his nightstand before moving over and curling up in Leonard’s waiting arms.

“You did really well, Jim. I’m proud of you,” Leonard said running his fingers through Jim’s hair.

Jim pushed his head up against Leonard’s hand, trying to get more contact.

The doctor laughed. “I love you too. So much, darlin’. Did you know I love you?”

Jim nodded, clinging tighter to Leonard.

“Every last bit of you. And I’m not gonna go anywhere until you want. That sound good?”

“Yeah.”

“I thought so.” Leonard switched from running his fingers through Jim’s hair to simply playing with it.

“Why’re you proud of me?” Jim asked suddenly several minutes later.

“So many reasons. Too many to count.”

“I said stop though.”

“And I’m proud of you for doing that. God, Jim, I’m so proud of you for speaking up. That was good. You did exactly what you were supposed to. You told me when it was becoming too much.”

“So you’re happy?”

“I’m very happy. My boyfriend who wasn’t communicating during sex did just that. And my boyfriend is you, and that in and of itself makes me incredibly happy.”

Jim smiled tiredly. “You want me?” he mumbled, not really processing that he was saying it out loud.

“What’s there to want? I have you. I just want to keep you.”

“You want me,” Jim repeated, simply stating it this time.

Leonard smiled at him, rubbing his shoulder gently.

“Someone wants me.”

“Yeah, a lot of someones do.”

Jim tilted his head up to look at Leonard. “I’m wanted,” he said grinning dopily.

“Thankfully it’s the good kind and not evading the law kind.”

Jim squirmed around so he could properly look at his boyfriend. “Bones, I’m wanted. Someone wants me. You want me,” he said. Every bit of Jim’s expression showed his excitement, and exhaustion. Except for his eyes. Those showed every ounce of heartache he was feeling.

“You will always be wanted, Jim. By Joanna, by my mama, by Donna and Fred, by all our friends, and, most of all, by me. We all want you.”

Jim blinked a few times, then said, “I want you too, Bones.” He tilted his head before continuing, “Can I have you?”

“You already have me, Jim.”

“Can I keep you?”

Leonard bit back a laugh. “Yes, you can keep me. As long as I get to keep you.”

“Ok,” Jim nodded.

“You need to get some sleep.”

“Ok.”

Leonard smiled fondly at Jim. “Head,” he patted his shoulder.

Jim settled down, still snuggled up against Leonard with his head on the doctor’s shoulder.

“We’re gonna talk in the morning,” Leonard said kissing the top of Jim’s head.

“‘Mkay,” Jim mumbled already dozing off.

Leonard smiled to himself as he gently stroked Jim’s arm as the blond fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://pinkamour1588.tumblr.com)


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